This guy from the south is up in a northern bar and asks the bartender what it takes to be a northerner… The bartender takes him aside and says there are three tests.
The first test is to show how tough you are. You have to start a fight with the three toughest, meanest, biggest guys in the bar, and knock them unconscious.
The second test is you have to show how resourceful you are. You have to go out back where the big mean pitbull is chained up. He has an infected tooth and you have to extract with whatever you can find to do the job.
The third test is to show how compassionate you can be. There’s an 80 year old hooker upstairs that hasn’t been satisfied in 20 years. You have to make mad passionate love to her for an hour.
The guy tosses back his shot, orders another one, and tells the bartender, “I think I’m up to that.”
He sets forth and locates the three toughest, meanest, biggest guys in the bar and sets forth for a fight. After a couple of hours and a thrashing and trashing of furniture, he staggers to the bar, bruised and bleeding, saying he has accomplished his first task. He tosses back another shot.
He then exits the back door and chained in the corner is a huge pitbull. He sets to his task. There is the most ungodly struggle, with growling, and barking and screaming.
An hour or so later he crawls back to bar, all tattered and shredded. He pulls himself up to the bar and tosses back another shot. He tells the bartender that he has accomplished his second task.
He then asks the bartender, “Now, where’s the hooker with the sore tooth.”
